Conveyor Belts, Spaghetti and Ashes

(WARNING: This is a LONG posting - it took on a life of it's own.)

My mind is always running so many miles a minute, that there are continually about 4 or 5 major topics or issues being processed at a time. Not 'major' meaning life and death decisions, or huge, dramatic problems to be solved. I just mean....if someone stopped me at any given point of a day, and asked me to quickly jot down what was currently on my mind - I think that list would consistently be about 4 or 5 bullet points long. Is that normal? Are you the same way? It's kindof like a little conveyer belt in my mind, just like a treadmill, that loops back on itself - lined with boxes of thoughts. So every few minutes or hours, I have dug through each of these compartments mentally. Although - it seems also true that nothing is exactly in a different compartment or box....everything touches/effects everything else. THAT I can probably attribute to being a woman!

Speaking of attributes of a woman - that kindof leads me off on a tangent (go figure)....please bare with me...I am sure we all have heard about, and probably read, that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book. A few years ago, I came across a Christian version of that same idea, called Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. I ate it up! (catch the silly pun-ness there?) And just now it ocurred to me that maybe you all would enjoy it, too. It is written by a funny married couple. The book got me to see, even more clearly, how purposely different (and often frustratingly different) God created men and women. And it really helped me UNDERSTAND the way that guys process information and prioritize things. Fascinating!

So, ok, back to my busy brain. I have thought of blogging the past few days - but didn't have any one particular thing to focus on. Therefore, instead, to represent the conveyer belt analogy above...I will just write about each bullet point resting on my head this morning.

First thing to mention is what a wonderful Ash Wednesday ceremony I went to last night. Something was particularly touching and special in the service, in the message, in the space. I know God is always right there in the midst of fellowship and worship - but, this was one of those times when I feel Him speaking directly to me. Two ceremonies the church did were specifically meaningful - 1. the marking of ashes on my forehead in the shape of a cross... 2. the entire congregation kneeling, right there at the pews - getting down in a posture of humility, in adoration - and praying for hearts of repentence. I know I did not HAVE to attend this service, or HAVE to participate in the rituals. It wasn't the act, or going through the motions that pleased God...what my heart did need were those good visual reinforcements, positioning me into a place of openness.

Secondly, I am personally being convicted of the jealousy and coveting that I allowing to taint my thoughts and feelings recently. But, even bigger - I am really wanting to FEEL the weight of my own falleness; therefore, more completely appreciating Christ’s sacrifice for me. I think through lent, in this season, I will concentrate on just how ugly and unforgivable my sins are, and how hopeless that would have been if Jesus had not been an option. I really DO want to appreciate the cross.